Ordinary "Expectations"

‘what separates an ordinary woman from an extraordinary one?
the belief she is ordinary.’

Last week a group of res-lifers (RAs and hall directors), put on a program for first year women. There was an educational aspect but mostly it was a lot of fun activities to enjoy a night of hanging out with friends. One of the stations, a friend of mine took head shots and group photos of the girls. Everyone got a chance to participate in and had a lot of fun.

This year I’ve had the great opportunity to serve 26 first year women as a resident assistant. The job has its ups and downs mostly ups. I knew I would be pushed to grow as a person but I’ve been surprised by just how much. Growing up as a young woman in our society, I don’t go without hearing about women and their struggles with their self image.

This year many new, strong, influential women have come into my life and made a positive counter punch towards all the negative influences out there. At first I thought to myself “oh how do they have everything... they are so perfect…how are they so content and happy” I’ve realized my perceptions of them were wrong. After really getting to know these women I realized no one has it completely together and there is no such thing as perfect. Yet, there is a choice to be happy and appreciate one’s self.

This past winter I came to a turning point and realized that basketball was no longer for me. Quitting in the midst of the season was not easy and made for an emotional transition. A couple days after quitting another student in the dinning hall came over to my table. “So I heard about basketball…so like what do you do now?” That was a question I did not have an answer for.

For the majority of my life, I have strived for Kate Schmidt the 6’2 basketball player who attempted to live up to “expectations” that I believed people held for me. Falling short of those “expectations”, I would allow my self-esteem to fall as well. In a conversation with a friend trying to figure this question out they completely caught me off guard. Most people allowed me to pity myself and were understanding toward my state of uncertainty. However she did not. She challenged me to see it as choice. Either I allow myself to be ruled by expectations or I realize that I am in control. And it was my decision.

As of right now, I still have no definitive answer for the question. But when I come upon it, it will be mine. I will no longer be defined by my belief of ordinary “expectations.”