Give Extravagantly

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!" Luke 21:1-4 (the message).

Some people have what they call their life verse. A verse that they really identify with and touches them. I just finished reading a book called "Crazy Love" it challenged me to examine my relationship with the big man and how that transfers to my every day life. It calls out people who go through the motions and are idle in their lukewarm Christianity.

In one chapter, the story of how Jesus witnesses a poor widow offer little compared to the riches of other men yet it was so much was told. I love the use of extravagantly. "she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford- she gave her all." As found in the dictionary, extravagant means: given to lavish or imprudent expenditure; exceeding reasonable bounds; extremely abundant, profuse; & unreasonably high, exorbitant.
I hope to live a life full of giving lavishly, & exceeding reasonable bounds. I want to love my Lord and my neighbors til exhaustion. I want to do His will so I can look back and say I loved my Lord so much I gave my all.


Peace Corps Update
submitted application: September 22nd
conducted interview: October 23rd
nominated for a position: November 10th

Yes We Can

Today I am so proud to be from Illinois and to be from America. I'm so proud to have many African friends who can share the same feeling of joy and hope with America. I realize that not one man can change the world, but I do believe that one man can inspire us to change ourselves. Together, yes we can.

“It’s the answer that led those who’ve been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve, to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.”

hurry up and wait

submitted application: September 22
conducted interview: October 23

this past thursday, i ventured into chicago for my interview with my peace corps recruiter. walked over to the close by metra station from campus for my commute into the city. standing on the platform waiting for the train i was just so excited. with that excitement along came a rush of emotion. for some reason, my eyes started to well up with tears.

i don't think in my life i have ever wanted something as bad as i want to serve in the peace corps. i want to the chance to serve people in need. i want to find a new perspective on the world and how i see myself in it. i want to shed all the luxuries of the western world to experience something raw.

with the recent lack in funding the competition for volunteer positions is increasing. leaving the peace corps office, i felt as if i gave a solid interview and was only more excited about the possibility of serving. on my way back to union station, i looked both ways for traffic before crossing the street and as i looked out in front of me i saw something. on a bus stop advertisement, "never have to start sentences with 'I should've...'" (Peace Corps Ad) i'm taking that as a sign.

right now all i can do is hurry up and wait.

why do i dream in color...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7zZDRqbFpg

this was the video clip shown at focus (ncc student worship on Wednesday nights). daniel put it together from photos of his and mine. kevin from the young sea is singing in the first song. which i absolutely love.

here i stand

.i think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength because no one else can give it to me. sometimes it is very lonely. but i know the lonely times teach me the most. i must let go in order to let anything in.

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love...

I have had the opportunity to travel to Africa twice on ministry service trips in my college career. The first trip of three weeks in the summer of 2007 opened my eyes to the issues of world poverty. I witnessed amazing stories of people who overcome horrendous daily struggles that until that point I had not even realized had existed.

I returned this past summer for an entire month. I was able to travel not only to Kenya but to parts of Northern Uganda. Going into this trip I thought I knew what to expect and that I was prepared. After the first two weeks in Uganda, my spirit was broken. The situation in Northern Uganda with the past violence LRA and the existing threat plus the problems of extreme poverty was unsettling to me. The romantic and mysterious perspective of Africa that I had from the previous year was gone. I was overwhelmed by the great need for aid.
After processing, I have realized that there will most likely never come a day where not one man lives with AIDS, not one woman fights malaria, not one child starves. I can not save the world. But I must do what I can. I can show them compassion and love. I can have relationships with that one man, one woman, and one child. I can help to aid their community in whatever humanly way possible while remembering just as much as I can help them; they can do the same for me.



One thing that I have learned from my experiences in Africa is that I cannot be lost in all the struggles that I might face but I have to appreciate what I do have and live in the moment. I feel that America and the rest of the Western world has a lot to learn from people in less developed countries. Being a Peace Corps. Volunteer, not only would allow me to develop a better understand of myself in relation to the world but I would have stories to share with others. My first hand accounts could spark others to become active in some way just as I was inspired by a former volunteer. I want to look back on my life and know that I cared for people; that I used all my God given abilities to make a positive impact. Being a volunteer, would allow me the chance to make that impact while setting me up for a life of serving others.

Bothered

It’s strange but I have been home from Africa for a whole month now. Feel like I haven’t quite adjusted yet. But I’m coming to the realization that I may never (or at least in a way I hope I don’t).

See I am bothered by alot. I am bothered that when I wake up in the morning I know there is food only footsteps from my bedroom. I am bothered by the decision of what to wear. I am bothered that I can spend my summer day as an unemployed college student worry free. And most of all, I am bothered when I get into my spacious bed at night.

Why am I so bothered?

I have met children who do not know when their next meal will be, mothers who only have the luxury of one outfit, fathers who struggle to find work and families who share a tiny huts at night.

Upon returning home, there are many different emotions. The first and probably most selfish is one of relief. I’m relieved I don’t have to worry about the water I drink or the food I eat. I am not inconvenienced by a mosquito net or malaria medication. The basics of life are a lot more easily achieved here in the states.

Second, would be one of emptiness. I miss seeing and interacting with my African friends. The connection between two people from incredibly different parts of the world is a special and unique relationship. African life is hard yet there is a simplicity that comes with it. People are not as concerned with materialistic issues. They have a easier time focusing on the things that do matter in life like friends, family and appreciating every moment the Lord gives.

Last, I am left with anger and frustration. I am angry with the realization that I am so greatly blessed compared to others yet I’m not as content as I should be. I am angry that others will never have the luxuries I do yet out work me. And my frustration further builds. I know we are not suppose to be able to figure out God but I still try to understand why God would allow the world to work like this. Frustrated because I want a direct answer from the Big Man about what His will for me is. I want to know the path that I’m suppose to walk.

Senior year will be starting soon, shouldn't I have a plan for my life and purpose behind it. Right now I have different possibilities I’m thinking about. Peace Corps, grad. school, going directly into student affairs. Who knows which one I should choose and which one is the correct one.

God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.- Frederick Buechner